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How To Get Along With Your Ex After Divorce

How to Get Along With Your Ex After Divorce

Are you considering divorce? Are there children involved? Do you want to remain friends with your ex? If you answered yes to these questions, we can help you resolve your legal issues in a way that will promote amicable resolutions. At Jones Divorce Law LLP, we respect the dynamic nature of every unique case, embrace challenges and strive to deliver progressive, family-oriented solutions to support your transition. Our skilled team of Calgary divorce lawyers provide their insight into how to remain friends with your ex during a divorce.

What Does It Mean to Befriend an Ex-Spouse?

When you think of divorce, you usually conjure negative emotions such as hostility, jealousy, and revenge. The first step in befriending your ex is making up your mind that this doesn’t have to be your situation. As much as possible, maintain an open dialogue with the other party and agree to foster a collaborative relationship as you transition out of your marriage. This do not mean you will always be on the same page, nor will it eliminate the grief of losing a spouse, but it will help make the process easier. This is especially true if you have children and intend to co-parent. The number one thing to remember is this: you can’t control your emotions, but you can control your actions.

How to Move Forward as Friends After A Marriage Breakdown?

Change is always difficult and can cause people to behave irrationally. As such, the transition between marriage and divorce is bound to be full of obstacles. The best thing you can do during this period is learn to let go. While you may feel hurt and rejected by the dissolution of your marriage, it is now time for a fresh start as friends. The most difficult part of this transition is letting go of old expectations and roles. Your ex is no longer obligated to answer your phone calls, reassure you emotionally, or provide financial support. It’s up to you to fill this void and establish a new support system. For example, if your partner used to watch the children while you worked late, now, you my need to schedule play dates or childcare. Adapting to your new roles will take time and effort, but it’s entirely possible to get to a point where you can be co-parent on friendly terms.

How to Cope When One of You Moves on

It’s highly likely following a divorce that you or your partner will move on and find another partner. This is a natural stage in your new relationship as friends. While you may feel a range of emotions and be tempted to call off your friendship with your ex, it’s in everyone’s best interest if you can find a way to integrate these new people into the family dynamic. It’s best to be open about new relationships as these partners will eventually be spending time with your children. Have the courtesy to disclose relationships that you deem “serious”. However, you cannot expect your ex to accept your new partner right away. It can take years to get to a point where the entire family can spend time together with new partners or step-children. Remember, be patient, expanding a family takes communication, effort and time.

If you are considering separation or divorce and need legal advice, connect with us to set up an initial consultation. The content of this blog was inspired by “befriending your ex after divorce” written by Judith Ruskay Rabinor. If you would like to check this book out of our library, please email


Disclaimer: The content provided in the blog posts of Jones Divorce & Family Law is general information and should not be considered legal advice. Please contact a lawyer for legal advice tailored to your specific situation. All articles are current as of their original publication date.