Divorce rates are still high in our culture, with some estimates still saying that almost 50% of marriages end that way. Many of these failed relationships involve children, and divorce is a painful process for kids at least as difficult as it is for the divorcing parents. Even as the process becomes a selfish one by nature, parents still love their children and want to spare them pain. It becomes very important to work to keep your kids out of the conflict as much as possible. Here are some ways that you can work to keep your kids and divorce separate and protect them as much as possible.
Kids and Divorce
Divorce is a really hard time for children. No child wants to see their parents split up, and as hard as it is for you to face life anew without your partner, divorce is the end of their world to a child. It’s vital for them to continue to see that both of their parents love them and will continue to be in their lives so that they can deal with the pain and stress, process it and move on just as you need to do so.
One of the most important aspects of parenting is being a role model for your child. Children look up to their parents and seek to emulate them in all ways. You want to be a positive representation of the type of person your child should be. This means always presenting yourself in the best light. You have anger, bitterness and resentment: that’s to be expected. What you must not do, however, is let your child see those emotions. Remain rational and calm at all times in the eyes of your children, and stay that positive role model they so respect and love.
Disagreements and Blame
A divorce, by its very nature, means hashing out harsh disagreements. Never let your child see blame. Never talk ill of your spouse. Never put your child in the center of your marital problems. They need to understand that this is not their fault, that mom and dad have issues that they need to work out, and they must never be asked to choose sides. It’s not fair to you, your spouse, or your children.
One of the best ways you can overcome the anger and rage, and help to keep your kids and divorce separate is to pursue a mediated divorce. With this approach, you and your spouse get to maintain and rebuild your partnership while making the decisions that are best for you and your family.
Part of the success of mediation is that you are helped to overcome your anger and hostility and are able to move forward as partners once more. Even if your romance fades, your ability to work together must remain.
If you are facing divorce and would like to know more about how mediation can help you avoid bitter court battles and stress on your kids, we are here to help.