HOW TO ASK YOUR PARTNER FOR A PRENUP
Marriage is an exciting milestone in many people’s lives. However, before getting married, it is always a good idea to discuss a prenuptial agreement with your partner. While it’s not an easy topic to talk about, there are ways to discuss a prenuptial agreement that will open the lines of communication between you and your partner and allow for a practical conversation about both of your futures. Having this conversation is also an excellent opportunity to discuss your expectations and shape your partnership together to ensure a smooth transition into marriage.
Be Honest About Your Reasons for Wanting a Prenup
This is a chance to start out your life together with honesty and clarity. There are many reasons why you might want a prenup including reducing stress, saving money, protecting income/inheritance, tax planning and resolving debt issues. Start an honest conversation with your partner, be completely transparent and encourage your partner to do the same. When suggesting anything, help your partner understand why it might be important to you. The more your partner understands your reasoning, the easier it will be for them to accept it.
Choose the Right Time to Talk
Don’t spring the prenup on your partner the day before the wedding as this is usually a stressful time anyway. Instead, start a discussion with your lawyers six to 12 months before your wedding. This will give you time to negotiate, as well as allow your lawyers to help demystify the agreement and explain why it can be valuable. Additionally, try to find a time when you are both at your best. After a long day at the office or when your partner has just walked in the door is probably not ideal. This is a delicate and sometimes uncomfortable conversation, but if it’s something that genuinely matters to you, you owe it to your partner to bring it up at the right time.
Be Collaborative In Your Approach
Consider hiring a mediator and writing the prenup collaboratively so you are both on equal footing. A mediator is a neutral third party who will work with you as a couple to reach a consensus on the agreement. Your lawyers primary role will be to ensure adequate disclosure is given and that each person understands the contents and nature of the agreement. The mediator leads the couple through a series of questions and answers in an effort to reach a friendly consensus.
Be Kind To Your Partner
Going through the process of creating a prenup will inevitably cause tension, so be kind to each other, especially in moments of frustration. If things do get heated, try and understand why it’s going down that path by asking questions about your partner’s objections, concerns, or beliefs. Whilst everyone should enter a marriage feeling like it will last forever, it is only reasonable that each party protect their assets in case things do go wrong later down the line. Although it may feel like a daunting conversation to have, it could very well be worth it in the long run.
If you have questions about prenups, connect with us today. Our lawyers can explain the process and help make this a painless and cost-effective part of your marriage planning.