Divorce is not always cut and dry. Emotions are often high, circumstances are difficult and making agreements can seem next to impossible, leading some to act with the feelings rather than their wit. Though separating from your spouse is stressful, there are some mistakes that you should avoid making during mediation.
Many decisions that are made during the process of divorce mediation can affect both parties for their entire lives, you do not want anything to compromise their validity. Make things easier on yourself by keeping the process smooth. Bad etiquette and making these mistakes, intentionally or unintentionally, will only hinder the process and bring everyone out on the losing end. At the end of the day, you will feel accomplished simply by knowing that you gave mediation your best effort.
1. Acting with Emotions
You cannot let your emotions control the mediation session. It is normal to experience a marriage of extreme emotions during a divorce, but coming to an amicable agreement about import issues is dependent on you keeping a clear head. Mediation is not the time to lash out or wear your heart on your sleeve.
Before going to your mediation session, consider speaking to a counsellor or therapist, especially if you have already experienced mood swings or negative emotions during the separation. Going to a counsellor will not only help you to have a clear head for mediation, but it will also promote positive health and growth as you are going through your divorce.
2. Forgetting the Children
It is hard to not be selfish when your world is being flipped upside down, and many divorcing couples forget the wellbeing of their children during the trying process. Be sure to keep them in mind as you are making decisions.
3. Letting the Past Lead the Future
You must forget the past as you enter your mediation session. Look towards the future and decide how it can built with the decisions at hand. Visiting a coach before mediation will help you to develop an action plan before mediation begins.
4. Being Stubborn
Refusing to compromise is counterproductive. You must be willing to negotiate terms and remain flexible. Accept that you will not achieve all of your wishes, but that the outcome can be positive if you and your ex-spouse are willing to give and take while making decisions.
5. Rushing Through Divorce
Many people are under the impression that all divorce cases end up in a court room. That is not true; couples are able to resolve their issues outside of court very often. Take your time before mediation and become educated with divorce and the different ways in which it can be accomplished. Gather yourself, have a clear head, visit a trusted counsellor and collect the information you will need for making choices during mediation. Slow and steady wins the race.
Your divorce does not have to be a train wreck. Keep these common mistakes in mind and you will be more likely to have a smooth divorce mediation experience. To learn more, visit our mediation page and contact a Jones Divorce Mediation representative.