It’s not unusual for family law firms to see an increase of clients during and after the holidays. In fact, some people have even gone as far as to dub January as â€œDivorce Monthâ€ due to the amount of divorce proceedings that begin during this time. If you are going through a separation, its very important to consider how and when you are going to tell your children. Although all families are unique and will cope with divorce differently, there are some universal factors that you should consider when talking to your children about divorce.
Present a United Front
Think before you speak and discuss with your partner what you are going to say ahead time. You should anticipate difficult questions and take turns addressing each issue. It’s best if you are able to present the news together in an amicable manner. This avoids blame being assigned to either parent. Make sure that each parent has their emotions in check and are able to put the needs of the children first when telling them about the divorce. Do not tear each other down or use this as an opportunity to bash the other parent.
Be Honest with Yourself and Your Children
One of the most significant things you can do when talking to your children about divorce is to tell the truth. Children are very tuned into their parents emotions and can sense tension within their relationship. This does not mean that you need to tell them all the details of the separation or include them in adult-conversations – but you shouldnt sugar-coat the situation. Make time to address all of their questions and be transparent about the logistics of what will happen next.
Acknowledge a Healthy Range of Emotions
Most likely, your children are going to feel stressed and confused. You should provide a safe environment for them to express their feelings. Some children may lash out while others may become very withdrawn, and its not uncommon to see a range of these emotions from a single child. Keep in mind, you are their most important role model. Practice talking about your emotions in front of your children and encourage them to do the same. The way that you perceive the situation and future will rub off on them. If you are able to be positive, it’s much more likely that they will be too.
No matter how you choose to talk to your children about divorce, the most important thing that they need to know is that although the dynamic of their family is changing, they are still loved by each parent. If you are considering divorce, our team of Calgary Divorce Lawyers are here to help. Connect with us to set up an initial consultation.