If you are going through a divorce you most likely want to make the process as easy and painless as possible. This is especially true if you have children and want to protect their well-being. Our skilled team of Calgary lawyer’s put together their list of the top 3 worst things you can do when going through a divorce. The also provide tips on how to learn from the mistakes they have seen.
Not Being A Respective Co-Parent
This means being respectful of your ex. While this is sometimes easier said then done, often the benefit of holding your tongue or going that extra mile is so, so worth it. We cannot stress the following points enough:
- Never bad mouth the other parent, or other parents new partner in front of the children. As well, never allow anyone else to do so either.
- Create a parenting plan that works for your family. You may need the help of a lawyer to create this plan but always remember it’s your life and it needs to work for you.
- Help to facilitate a strong relationship between your children and ex-partner. This means coordinating telephone calls during your parenting time, allowing them to go on trips together and never making them chose between you or the other parent.
Not Taking Responsibility for your Behaviour
The way you behave in front of your children is a mirror to how they learn to behave. If you and your ex are constantly fighting you are teaching your children that hostility is appropriate behaviour in a marriage. Name calling, yelling and black mailing your ex will infer that these behaviours are acceptable. It’s your responsibility to demonstrate to your children healthy conflict resolution. In most cases, couples choose to divorce to stop the fighting and protect their children from a hostile home. This mentality needs to continue throughout the divorce process and especially when it’s complete.
Playing The Dating Game
Dating a new partner after divorce can be an extremely stressful situation for your children and ex. However, there are ways to positively navigate these new territories. Firstly, only introduce a new partner to your children when you believe it’s a significant relationship. This will avoid unnecessary anxiety if the new relationship does not work out. As well, do not pretend a new partner is just a friend. Kids are smart and will sense that there is something more going on and feel hurt that they were lied to. At the end of the day honesty is always the best policy. Finally, always put your children first, especially when the divorce is fresh. A new partner who is worth being in a relationship with should encourage you to spend quality time with your children.