Could you see this time as an opportunity to be the person you always wanted to be?
Guest post by Sharon Numerow
After dealing with the settlement and separation agreements, many people’s biggest fear after divorce is living alone. Accordingly, people often jump into new relationships without first gaining back their independence. Depending on the circumstances of your separation or the length of your relationship prior to divorce, the thought of being on your own can be overwhelming. Happily living on your own after divorce is entirely possible and made more easy by following these tips.
6 TIPS FOR SUCCESSFULLY LIVING ON YOUR OWN AFTER DIVORCE
- You must find a way to be happy again. For a period, it’s normal to dwell on your feelings of regret, disappointment, and bitterness, but after supportive counselling and healing, it’s time to move on. You deserve to be happy, and a happier you will result in happier people around you.
- Learn to love yourself again. Countless people lose their “true” self in a marriage. Take time to rediscover yourself on your own terms. Learn about your strengths and skills as an individual.
- Manage your stress levels. If you’ve become a single parent, the responsibilities of being on your own with children can be stressful. Spend more time appreciating the beauty of what you have: health, success and family. So what if the kids don’t make their beds or your kitchen isn’t tidy? Both are far less important than time spent with your children or practicing self care.
- Manage your money. Budgeting can be overwhelming if you’ve never managed your money month-to-month. Begin by taking baby steps. Work with a professional that can help you learn in a non-judgemental environment how to plan and effectively manage your finances.
- Keep yourself busy. This is especially important in the early aftermath of uncoupling. Force yourself to make plans and get out. Take up a new hobby or rediscover old ones. Consider taking a trip. Even if it’s on your own. Many hotels and resorts offer perks and packages for solo travellers. Reach out to acquaintances, colleagues, and friends. Not only will they keep you occupied and your spirits up, if any of them have waded through the murky waters of divorce or separation, you can tap them for advice on how they managed.
- Learn to LIKE being alone. Social interaction and support is important, but you can’t be truly successful on your own without working on the emotional side of your separation. Initially, living alone may feel isolating and downright scary. This is normal, so stop worrying about being alone and enjoy it. Watch a movie, go for a walk, work in the garden or read a book. Do whatever brings you peace and fulfillment. Once you can enjoy being alone, you’ll be ready to face the world with confidence and pride, and will be more successful as a result.
WHERE TO GO FOR DIVORCE FINANCIAL ADVICE
Sharon Numerow is a Calgary-based certified divorce financial analyst and tax professional. She educates clients on the financial and tax implications of every decision in divorce negotiations, including tax returns.